Zeel the Great.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who's the baddest of them all?

Nothing makes me more sexually satisfied than moderators deleting my posts.

Oh yes, I'll admit I do dislike that they're removing my art. It's like having a diarrhea fit all over it. I mean, people deserve to see it, that's a very SELFISH move. Totally unfair of the moderators.
Think of it this way.

What if you were doing your homework, delayed' a little, you then come back to see Zeel banned and a topic closed. You'll be pissed, innit?

So in that retrospect, deleting is bad.
BUT, BUT!

In the way that is good. Welll...

A feeling I cant explain crawls up my face and makes it to my mouth and I just get this chesire grin on my face. Somewhere, I KNOW, some moderator punched a wall

A new domestic case was opened.

bobo the clown just got run over.


Yes, what I ENJOY the most about when you fuckers delete my post is that well I' get some sort of gratification from your suffering. No, I'm not some type of sadist or masochist. I just like seeing you guys all bent out of shape over a few words.

I think the worst I've ever said was something along the lines of "bible thumping child touchers" (and we all know those two go HAND IN HAND). Anyways back to the point, yes. What exactly pisses you off so much, to delete? I must be doing SOMETHING right if you have to delete my post. Like someone said to me back on RMS;

GUY"Trolling so hard she quits?"
GUY"That's a strange talent, indeed"

Like guys, get over this victim mentality, I say some shit, and EVERYONE is offended. And for what? How do my flames generally go. Something between anti-conformism and anarchy, with a smug but adequate confidence.


Zeel: Your mother pre-ordered tickets to see New Moon and your ideas blow as much cock as she does.


You see right? it's not that bad. Oh sure, Twilight and the general fanbase are complete bubble-gum popping, dye-my-hair blonde, and substitute "like" for verbs, Jonas brother loving cunts. But if your mother was some sort of easily entertained monkey, I'd understand.

And trust me, that's plausible.


I guess the point I'm trying to make is.Go on delete my posts. But in real life no you can't delete people laughing at you, cause you're a moody Naruto fanboy.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

They aren't cool, and they weren't cool 5 years ago.

During a class this really hot girl was like "This is so soft" and I'm giving her a look like "Give me some of that moonshine" and I was about to vocalize my thoughts when I realized something. ITS ANOTHER TREND-WORD.

YOU KNOW those trend words!
BURN
WIKKED
GROOVY
CHESSED

They're moronically stupid and yet you can't stop saying it! That's the one! Well, let me introduce you to the new horribly stupid set of "trendy" phrases and words:

Epic: I knew it was uncool when a chick in my class called the season premier "epic". Omg laurn conrad haz ben rplce dis goin BE EPIX!

Faggot: Is this like the only demeaning adjective in the English language? You guys say it with such force to. FAGGOT! Like anyone gives a shit that you're using faggot. What happened to real insults? like cunt, gypsy, or gayspic? insults that grabbed you by the balls!

Anything 4-chan related in-general: What about an "internet" cult makes you think it's cool at all? If I have to hear "I AM LEGION" over 9000 times, I swear I'm going to be charging my lazer.

lulz: Are you fucking kidding me? Aren't we grown ass adults? WHY are we using "lulz" you know something is stupid when it ends in a fucking Z. Also "XD" and "LMAO" ">.>" are also stupid.

What does ">.>" even mean?

Typing out your actions: You know, when you're having a chat and then someone goes:

-having an erection-

and you're wondering why the fuck did they type that out?? It's because they're morons.

Fail: I realized I hated this word when during my food and nutrition class some wise ass was chanting "fail" everytime iI churned the batter incorrectly. Fucking hate that douche. Oh look at me, my name is Luckas and I know how to pronounce tarragon! Fuck you Luckas, I only took that class to help my average.

Like anyone gives a shit about churning anything.

Epic fail: yes, when you combine two catastrophically unfunny words, you get an unfunny phrase! Everything is epic fail in real life. You can't stumble without some 14 year old shouting "EPIC FAIL" it's gotten to a point where I have to look left and right before I come off the bus. Long story short I fucking hate that phrase.
Me:"it's November 13th today, right?"

moron who probably has the calender tattoo'd to his ass: EPIC FAIL! IT the 14th!
Shut up or shut up.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

The Anime Universe is in a Recession.

I'm the type of person who enjoys reading people slander anime, so when I googled "fairy tail Review" I was appalled that there wasn't a SINGLE review bashing this anime debacle. It's so easy. let's start:

Fairytail. Yes, it's easy to make a whimsical fail related name alteration, but I will not do it.

Plot
Ever watch a show, go for a piss break, come back and realize that the story has just dramatically changed? Only in fairytale can a story start with the main character coming off a train and end with a girl being sold into prostitution. Pacing! logic ! Beginning! Middle! Ending! Forget these terms if you want to watch fairy tail.

I've never been so confused and disinterested with fire breathing dragons IN MY LIFE! The story literally grabs all the cliches, stereotypes and generic characters and makes a fail-stew. The story is basically Ichigo, excuse me, Naruto, no wait, NATSU runs into hot bitch number 1 and she needs rescuing within 5 minutes of her introduction, Lucy they call her. Sounds like a hooker, which is probably the only thing this anime does right.
Oh yeah and they summon "monsters" with keys.

God help the Anime Universe, it's in some serious trouble.

rating: sucks

Characters:



Natsu: When you're 9, you like to make chars as cool as fucking possible. Right? Meet the opposite. Natsu's hair is pink, he has motion sickness and travels with a talking cat named "happy". Even ichigo was cooler and his name was strawberry. This whole metrosexual bullshit that the Japaneses like to exploit is ridiculous. what happen to manly as hell characters? Who could rip phone books with their eyes and dragon kick you to the moon! Naw, we get Natsu, who, btw, breathes fire and still is uncool! That's a very awkward skill, indeed.


The cat: I'll tell you what I would of named it, "lame". As in this is one lame as hell character.The cat definitely doesn't make me feel "happy". It's like they designed this character specifically to piss me off. WHO THINKS a BLUE TALKING cat is COOL?


and he has wings.

I am not kidding. This show wasn't even trying to be coherent with this character.
btw looking for her picture, it took me until the 5th page to find one where she wasn't wearing a bikini

Lucy: Blond hot bitch who will be useless for the rest of the series. She also is amazingly wimpy. Amazingly, think of all the useless female chars through-out history, she will trump them by atleast 56%. Oh and by the way she wants to be a mage for some reason, considering she cant. A. fight. B. Defend. C. Run away. D. Use magic E. Contribute to the plot.


She would make a perfect candidate for the most powerful guild of Mages. If mages were pussies.
Which they apparently are, since she got in! plot hole again!

rating: sucks




Humour:
Every 12 seconds there's an attempt at humour, and every 12 seconds they do not succeed. The humour is so forced, like hemorrhoids. They're constantly trying to make me laugh, not once did I laugh. What do they expect? do they think I find motion sickness funny? or guy-eating-super-fast funny? or how about Lucy being an oblivious whore? Do they think I find that funny? Infact my face had a permanent frown.

Rating: Super sucks



Fights
what pissed me off the most! They would take breaks MID-FIGHT to make some CORNY JOKE! "omg he's so hawt HES ON FIRE"
I don't want to hear lame Anime puns. okay? What do they call this shogo or whatever? People watch these shows for two things:
A. fanservice, by the way, this show succeeded, exponentially, in this aspect.
B. Cool-ass-fights

And when you give me a fight where the main character is floating in mid air as he does some sort of dance move, i'm asking myself, WHY AM I STILL WATCHING THIS? the fights, WEAK-SAUCE. The fights are basically.


bad guy: hey, hey, hey, i stole your girlfriend
Natsu: Hey, hold it! *does something moronic*
the bitch: NATSUUUU!!!!
Natsu: AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH! fire-breathing-stupid-as-shit-attack

End.

There's a pointless build up, the fight last about aslong as it takes him to do that one move. Listen, fire isn't that god damn destructive, whenever I try to burn my 8 year old cousins toy, it takes for god damn ever, but in this show, fire is like the spit from Jesus!
Get out of the way! Natsu can breathe fire!



Oh and how can I forget, guess what the story is about?

Him finding his father.

Guess who his father is?

A Dragon.

rating: sucks, especially when Lucy is involved

Music:
Fairytail's Opening Theme
Japanese you cannot speak English, WHY the hell do you try? do you see me going ikadakitmus after meals? Or in my songs for that matter?


FAERY waroo gawing!

You know what they're trying to say? Fairy where are you going. How did I figure that out? I had to google the lyrics. It's just sad that they keep trying to slam a bunch of English phrases into songs that are 90% Japanese and targeted 100% to JAPANESE. and during the theme why the fuck are they turning around? Are they watching the morons who continue to support and view this show? As they turn around they yell "Oh yeah!" They must secretly mean:

"OH YEAH! you've been punked!"


And at the end of the incredibly long opening theme song it goes "and say good bye".
What?

Also, also, there's some Irish-techno bullshit going on during the fights, I'm not having it.

Rating: not as suck, the Irish techno was cool in a way that it was different. Like fallout boy, i mean, if they were different and Irish.


Summary
super duperly bad! Do not watch. If you hear someone talking about it, start vandalizing shit in their house. We should not tolerate such crap in our American community and you Japanese still can't speak English, I'm not sure why you try(??)



Sunday, November 1, 2009

Thank god I'm a troll!

For the occasional flame I never asked for.
For the occasional IP ban, undeserved. oh! oh oh!
the invitation to shoot myself!
and my mother would have to clean the mess

I am blessed
with the ability to get banned in seven replies
Which only means I spent less time posting than configuring the clock time

oohhhhhh



Thank god I'm a troll!!!!
Every point I ever make will be in question.
Every ill that I must suffer, merely brought on by myself.
Though I will claim elsewise
But I'm a troll so no one will think twice

I AM BLESSED


I'm truly privileged to be such an obnoxious jerkoff
Which only means my ban date is till two thousand and twenty-three.
and when I'm gone you will continuously bad mouth me
Thank god I'm a troll.

thank you, god!
oh, lord
thank you, god.

Oh, oh and when the gaggle of members appear on my topic
It's lucky I enjoy members telling me to "Stop it"
See, I think my ego would fall right through the cracks in the floor.
if I couldn't count on users to call me a "troll" anymore

I know my destiny's such, that I'm culturally intolerant
so everybody thinks that I'm a fucking stupid redneck!
OHHHHH!!!!!
thank you, god.

For the occasional warn, without posting.
For the occasional threat on my cellphone
invitations to get fucked.

Oh I'm blessed.

With the ability to get blacklisted!
which only means that I will be treated unfairly
don't try talking with them, no, that's uncalled for.
thank god I'm a troll

thank goooood
thank gooooooooooooooooooooood
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood